the fact is i tried to get in touch with people I wanted to say goodbye to, but no one got back to me so i guess that’s that
the olympics are a joke, i’ve watched people get their scores boasted even though they’ve done less than accurate it’s incredible
I tried to spit in the toilet but ended up spitting directly int my jeans. I’m a moron.
oszt asked: i agree entirely, but the financial side of things is tricky
My parents (specifically my mom) were very upset when i first brought up the idea of taking the rest of the semester off, but then somehow my dad got into it and then convinced my mom that it was the best option for me. My parents are not divorced (they are both republican and have always hated how I’ve grown into my more liberal than conservative self). One of my good friends in my current major (Applied Economics and Management; and I know as many Cornelian’s read this they’ll think “What does that person know about anything, AEM is easy”; but please continue reading) is a very good distance runner on the track team. I told her today that I’m leaving school for the rest of the semester. She was excited that I would be able to take time to be myself and basically do whatever I wanted (but maybe that’s not all I would like to do), but she now knows that sometimes people need to start over. It’s not always about having fun; college is about finding yourself, and that’s what I plan to do. I think it is the best for me to start again in the fall. I know that if i continue this semester, I will become incredibly depressed and probably end up flunking out or worse, killing myself (even though I’ve i’ve always seen myself as the person that dies young from an overdose or some catastrophic accident); I don’t want it to happen as a statistic of the school I attend (Cornell: one of the top suicidal colleges in the United States). If i want to kill myself, it will be on my own terms. I like this school a lot; I know when I stop going here I will miss the weather, even though all of you will be glad to get out of it, just remember the snow (and slush) you had to walk through to get to class; most people don’t and will never know the feeling of struggling to get to there 10 O’Clock classes everyday anywhere other than in the Northeast. If i kill myself, it will be because I wanted to and my life has led up to this moment that I can’t deny will not happen in the near future (and I know that that sounds bad, but some people end up that way and I’m not afraid to say that), not because this school makes me depressive (I love the weather here; as a Floridian I grew up in 90 degree weather my entire life and completely hated it, the sun was just too much to take most of the time). Most of you take this weather for granted, but it is probably the best you’ll ever see. It’s nice to get away from the everyday hot weather, you don’t want to sweat on your way to work or class (trust me, I’ve done it before; it is LITERALLY the worst feeling ever). You get to see the seasons change here in Ithaca (and other places in the Northeast), the leaves change from green to red and then fall off, and then you get to see them grow back again in the spring. Don’t take that for granted, because you won’t see that in many other places you visit or work. If anything, this school makes you realize who you want to be, and I know that right now I’m heading on the wrong path. I need this break to start over. And if anyone at Cornell (or at any other school) who is thinking the same thing as I am: please, start over. If you hate your friends or hate your classes, start over. This is obviously not what you want. And even if you want to die, just don’t do it now because you can; try everything you can to make your life straighten out. It’s the best that you can do for yourself. Even though you may think that now is the best time to end it, you may regret it as you’re jumping into the abyss. That unforgivable gorge will never help you get over your past regrets and mistakes. Please, for me, forgive yourself and look to the future. It holds onto the promises that you never thought you’d have.
Please: I go to Cornell, and if this is the only advice I ever give to someone, then so be it. I will tell you now, share this will all the people you think are struggling because they may never know what they have.
i’m taking the rest of this semester off because if i continue to go to this school i think i will most likely get awful grades, flunk out, and ultimately end up killing myself
bury--us-alive asked: did you apply to USC in California too? they have a good film & television department, at least from what I've heard. I hope you get into NYU though!
I did, but mainly just to see if I get in. I need a scholarship to go to University in America (pretty much), and I don’t think USC will give me one, so it’s just a little experiment really. NYU is my one and only.
i think if you get in, no matter how much it is, if it’s your dream school and you’ve always seen yourself going there, you should go! it’s always worth it (a student who plans on withdrawing from a school she never should’ve gone to)
My problem is that I fall in love with words, rather than actions.
I fall in love with ideas and thoughts, instead of reality.
And it will be the death of me.
what if tattoos just randomly appeared on our skin at key points in our lives and we had to figure out what they meant for ourselves
I wonder if I’ll ever be happy like I used to be